Why I’ve been silent

It doesn’t seem like it’s been more than a few days since I returned home to Virginia from Okinawa.  It doesn’t seem possible that it’s been almost a month!

I didn’t have any trouble adjusting when I arrived in Okinawa.  I’m not sure why.  Perhaps it was a mindset, being busy, or having been to China previously when my son and his wife lived there.  Grocery stores, driving, speaking to local Okinawa people just didn’t bother me at all.

I thought returning home would be great.  I was wrong.  I have been knocked off my feet and am having a terrible time adjusting.  There was a lot wrong at home I needed to fix after nine months away.  I also was overwhelmed by clutter.  I’ve always been a collector of many different things, but perhaps all the time in my sparse apartment in Okinawa I became accustomed to simplicity.  I felt like I was coming apart the first few days in my own home.  When I came to my senses I started yanking stuff off shelves and walls and had a huge yard sale within two weeks of my return home.  It’s still not enough.  More needs to go.

I’ve looked around and asked myself if I’m passionate about the item.  Before, if it was a gift or had any memories I kept it.  No more.  Now one or two Coke tins that I love are all I need and the other dozen or more that I’ve received as gifts over the years went.  That’s just one example of many.  I cleaned out my kitchen first and got rid of lots of small appliances and casserole or serving dishes that I rarely used.  I made lots of space.

I’m having difficulty finding things to eat like I ate in Okinawa.  I have to look harder.  I don’t want to shop at the grocery stores here.  I’m very turned off.  This has also made it a challenge for my family.  I don’t want to go out for hamburgers.  I want a salad or fresh vegetables or salmon.  I am realizing what vegans and vegetarians face when eating out and for the first time I am extra conscience.  I’m certainly not the same person that left.

I have not been eating good whole food and am experiencing brain fog and lethargy.  I have even had a terrible headache for the past week.  I have to take control and change!

In Okinawa I was very in tune with myself and was writing and having a burst of creativity.  I knew things would change at home because there is more to be done here.  Deck to stain, vacuuming, cleaning, flower beds to clean, etc.

I must set aside time each morning for exercise, yoga, meditation, and writing.

Beth

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